I’ve read about it, I’ve heard about it from friends and I knew it would happen to me. The big “G” of being a mom… GUILT. Although I know that I am trying my best as a mom, I can’t help but feel guilty about all kinds of things that are probably unhealthy. Recently, I’ve been feeling guilty about not working enough. Since I’ve been back at work, I’ve popped into the office around 8 am (often leaving the house before 7:15 AM, if I take the train) and then, I am out by 4 or 4:30 PM so that I can pick up my son at day care by 5 PM. Because I pump breast milk three times a day, I don’t even allow myself a short lunch break. I grab lunch downstairs, bring it back to my desk and try to stay focused during the limited amount of time that I’m in the office. Still, even though I am getting my work done, I feel like its not enough. My old self worked a lot more and that is a tough standard to live up to, these days.
Besides work, I still sometimes feel guilty about having my son in day care. Mostly, the guilt stems from the fact that he has been sick for about six weeks straight with either a cold or a cough. We’ve brought him to the doctor no less than three times in this short amount of time. But, everyone tells me it just comes along with group childcare and there isn’t much you can do about it. “They are building up their immune system!”. Oh…but, the coughs coming from his little, cute, baby body are so sad to listen to. Plus, when the coughs wake Reid up in the middle of the night, this doesn’t help me get my much needed rest for work.
As a mom, the guilt seems endless. I’ll feel guilty if I forget a jacket when its cold outside, if he spits up a lot (because maybe I ate something causing him acid reflux!), if I don’t want to stay up an extra hour to watch TV with the hubby, if my baby isn’t getting enough rest because I haven’t ‘sleep trained’ him… <sigh> Hopefully, the guilt will subside (at least a little) soon. It’s exhausting worrying all the time! I’ve been seeking comfort by reading about other mom’s who feel the same guilt, so, I thought I would add my 2 cents too.
